Joey: But I-I-I can't stay too long, I gotta get up early for a commercial audition tomorrow and I gotta look good. I'm supposed to be playing a 19-year-old. (Everyone stops in their tracks upon hearing this.) What?
Chandler: So when you said, "Get up early," did you mean 1986?

Joey: So you're playing a little Playstation, huh? That's whack! Playstation is whack! 'Sup with the whack Playstation, 'sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
Chandler: Yes, on a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely 19.

Joey: Look at this clown! Just because he’s got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. Get out of the way jackass! Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway?
Rachel: Joey, that is the coast guard
Joey: Then what's he doin out here? the coast is all the way over there!

Joey: Oh hey, you’ve done this before Ross, well what did you say when you made up your vows?
Ross: Well with Carol, I promised never to love another woman until the day I die. She made no such promise.

Joey: Okay, all right, this is how it’s going to work. We’re gonna give you hypothetical maid of honor situations and you will be scored on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the highest.
Ross: No, 10 is the highest.
Joey: Why is 10 the highest?
Ross: Because it’s the highest.

Chandler: No, we're playing this game I learned at work. You have to name all the states in six minutes.
Ross: What? That's like insanely easy!
Chandler: Now, that's a lot harder than it sounds. You always forget at least one, or in some cases... fourteen (looks over to Monica).
Monica: It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing against other people, so technically I didn't lose.
Ross: What? You forgot fourteen states?
Monica: Nobody cares about the Dakotas.

Chandler: What'd you rent?
Joey:Die Hard 2.
Chandler: (looking at the tape) Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Joey: Oh, well we watch it a second time and its Die Hard 2!

Ross: All right! All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won!
Chandler: Ross came in fourth and cried!

Joey: Say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb states game.
Ross: Wow, how many have you got?
Joey: Fifty-six!

(playing states game)
Joey: Utah? Ross, you can't just make stuff up!

Rachel: Wait a minute. Do you not like all dogs? I mean, not even puppies?
Chandler: (scared) Is there a puppy here?
Tag: You don't like puppies?
Chandler: (to Tag) Okay, you are new!

Joey: Look, Chandler, I told you, never tell anyone about this dog thing. It's like Ross not likin' ice cream.
Phoebe: You don't like ice cream?
Ross: It's too cold.

Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
Rachel: Huh. A moo-point?
Joey: Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.

Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.

Monica: Well, she cornered me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The check's in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I can't wait to read your book, Ross

Phoebe: Joey, she's so cool. She speaks four languages.
Joey: Man, do you know what guys want!

Rachel: Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what she’s talking about! I am an excellent driver!
Ross: You’re fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
Rachel: Well in High School, that added up to head cheerleader.

Chandler: Because you (Points to Joey) broke a chair and you (Points to Rachel) broke a chair! The only one around here that hasn't broke a chair, is me!
Rachel: No-no-no! This chair's not going anywhere.
Chandler: Well, where's the logic in that?!
Rachel: The logic is, that there are two of us and we are both strong enough to break a chair in half!
Chandler: So Joey breaks my chair and I get nothing!
Joey: That's right!
Chandler: What are you guys? Like a gang or something?!
Joey: Yeah! We are!
Rachel: We're the Cobras!

(Ross suddenly lunges forward in an attempt to kiss his cousin)
Cassie: Hey! What the hell are you doing?!
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! Okay, doesn't have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. Any words will do. Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (To her) I-I, I uh haven't had sex in a very long time. (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldn't have said anything.

Chandler: You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people yelling, "Who are you wearing?! You look fabulous!"
Rachel: Honey, might I suggest watching a little more ESPN and a little less E!?
Rachel: (reading a tag) This one is uh Paul O'Neil.
Chandler: Who's that?
Rachel: He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background.

Chandler: Please, don't take away my cool thing. Please?! Pretty please?!
Ross: Pretty please? Not very uh, 007.
Chandler: Look, it's my wedding day okay? If you were getting married I would never do anything to upset you.
Ross: When I got married you slept with my sister.
Chandler: That was pretty 007.

Joey: Yeah! Yeah y'know, like warm up the crowd. Ask 'em where they're from. 'Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. I'm a minis-tainer! (Rapping) There is no-one better! There is no-one greater

Chandler: (motioning towards the wedding dress) Is this new?
Monica: Not now!
Chandler: Right

Monica: Chandler, for so long I…I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that I’d ever been looking for my whole life. And now…here we are…with our future before us…and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you don’t want to. You go!
Chandler: Monica, I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way, it's okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with.