Ross: Right, you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your -big lizards...

Monica: Oh wait, wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at the little theater in the park.
Joey: Look, it was a job all right?
Chandler: 'Look, Gippetto, I'm a real live boy.'
Joey: I will not take this abuse.
Chandler: You're right, I'm sorry. (Burst into song and dances out of the door.) "Once I was a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."

Joey: Alright, when'd'ya have it on last?
Phoebe: Doy! Probably right before she lost it!
Chandler: You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days

Rachel: I know I had it this morning, and I know I had it when I was in the kitchen with...
Chandler: ...Dinah?

Rachel: Are you kidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.
Chandler: And yet you're surprisingly upbeat.
Rachel: You would be too if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!
Chandler: Oh, how well you know me..

Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Ross: No!! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?

Chandler: Ooh, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years it'd be talking too.

Ross: Today's the day Carol and I first.. consummated our physical relationship. (Joey is puzzled.) Sex. ..You know what, I-I'd better pass on the game. I think I'm just gonna go home and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
Joey: The hell with hockey, let's all do that!

Phoebe: Ooh! Ooh! And I brought Operation! But, um, I lost the tweezers, so we can't operate. But we can prep the guy!

Chandler: (in the ER) Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room

Phoebe: Oh, wait, she's walking across the floor.. she's walking.. she's walking.. she's going for the pizza- (Yelling) Hey, that's not for you, bitch!

Rachel: Come on! You guys can pee standing up.
Chandler: We can? All right, I'm tryin' that.
Joey: Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.

Ross: I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Chandler: Stay out of my freezer!

Chandler: The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has just gotten away.
Joey: The balloon?
Chandler: No, no, the actual cartoon character. Of course the balloon

Chandler: Y'know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed, they were very nice boobies.
Rachel: Nice? They were nice. I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.
Chandler: Okaaay, (Gestures) rock, hard place, me.

Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?
Rachel: Uh... yeah, why?
Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.
Rachel: Oh my Goood! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Joey: Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.

Phoebe: OK, I just need two... the, um, ten of spades and the six of clubs.
Ross: No. No, uh, Phoebs? You can't -- you can't do...
Rachel: Oh wait, I have the ten of spades! Here! (gives it to Phoebe)
Ross: No, no. Uh... no, see, uh, you-you can't do that.
Rachel: Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no, that's OK, I don't need them. I'm going for fours.

Chandler: Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.
Rachel: Settle what?
Chandler: The... Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land, so

Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive.
Phoebe: Ha. Ha, ha.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.

Ross: (on phone) Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO. Yeah, that's right. That's right, JUMBO with a U, sir. No, belive me, you don't want me. Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment.

Joey: Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?
Monica: Ha,ha, ha, oh my life is just so amusing. Could we drop it now?
Joey, Chander, and Ross: Sorry.
Ross: It's morphin time!
Joey: Stegosaurus!
Chandler: Tyrannosaurus!

Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Chandler: Uh, uh.
Monica: Well?
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack

Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day, there's Father's Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
Ross: Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.

Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Ross: Whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday?
Joey: When's that?
Ross: Tonight.
Joey: Oh, man. What're the odds of that happening?
Ross: You take your time.

Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Chandler: Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.