Friends Season 6

Phoebe: What’s the big deal, y’know? It’s not like it’s a real marriage.
Chandler: What?!
Phoebe: Yeah, if you get married in Vegas, you’re only married in Vegas.
Monica: What are you talking about? If you get married in Vegas you’re married everywhere.
Phoebe: Really?!
Monica: Yeah!
Phoebe: Oh my God! ... Eh! Well…

Rachel: What-wh-what so we’ll just stay married forever?!
Ross: Okay, look, how is this gonna affect you? Really? I mean you fill some form out once and a while and instead of checking the box that says Ms you check the box that says Mrs.! It’s right next to it!

Ross: …once you know the stories, it’s not that bad. First marriage, wife’s hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldn’t allow you to get married when you’re that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevada’s fault.

Chandler: "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Nice!
Joey: Yeah? I just figured y’know, after living with you it’d be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, y’know? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone who’s different than me. And what’s more different than me; a guy who’s not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!

Phoebe: Y’know, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
Chandler: Yes, if the presents are hidden south for the winter.
Phoebe: Or we could just follow your clever jokes – any ideas? No! Didn’t think so!

Monica: What are you guys gonna do?
Rachel: Well, I guess we just find a divorce lawyer?
Chandler: Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this one’s free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third one’s free.
Ross: Laugh it up, but the joke’s on you. Because we don’t need to get divorced, okay? We we’re just gonna get an annulment.
Joey: An annulment? Ross! I don’t think surgery’s the answer here.

Monica: Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben.

Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I’m just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Rachel: Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.

Ross: It tastes like feet!
Joey: I like it.
Ross: Are you kidding?
Joey: What’s not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooooood.

Chandler: Y'know those big-big uh, road signs that say "Merge?"
Monica: Uh-hmm.
Chandler: Y'know? So I was thinking that we could get one of those signs and hang it over our bed. Because, that's you and I together! Merge!
Monica: Oh my God! I love that!
Chandler: Really?!
Monica: Uh, no!!

Joey: Hey babies! Oh, I'm having the best morning. That uh, that Porsche I've got the keys too, still there!
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.

Chandler: You're turning into a woman.
Joey: No I'm not. Why would you say that? That's just mean.
Chandler: Now I've upset you? What did I say?
Joey: It's not what you said. It's the way you said it....Oh My God, I'm a woman!!!

Joey: Hey Chandler. Come on in. We're knitting pot holders.
Chandler: No thanks, Josephine.

Janine: No no no no, it's potpourri. You're supposed to smell it
Joey: (Joey takes a big whiff of the potpourri.)Well that's like summer in a bowl.

Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, it's just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world!

Ross: How was I supposed to know we'd end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister?
Chandler: What about all that “friends forever” stuff?
Ross: I don't know, I-I was all high.

Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you don't wanna get with this?
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think you should say that even when you're healthy.

Rachel: …I am jealous of her?! I mean who does she think she is?! Princess Caroline?!
Monica: You’re jealous of Princess Caroline?
Rachel: Do I have my own castle?

Joey: You didn’t cry when Bambi’s mother died?
Chandler: Yes it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer!

The Doctor: Joey and Tony Tribbiani.
Joey: That’s us.
The Doctor: But uh, this is a study for identical twins.
Joey: That’s right, $2,000.
The Doctor: But, you’re not identical twins.
Joey: Damnit Carl!

Joey: No! No! No! For my new fridge -- our new fridge!
Chandler:Our new fridge? I don't live here anymore.
Joey: So what? Look, suppose we were a divorced couple.
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Joey: And I got custody of the kid, right? Now suppose the kid dies and-and I gotta buy a new kid.
Chandler: Okay...
Joey: Give me $400!

Chandler: Oh my God that's it, that's the ring! How much is it?
Phoebe: Chandler, I-I will handle this! How much is it?
Male Jeweler: 8,600.
Phoebe: We will give you $10.
Male Jeweler: Are you interested in this ring?!
Chandler: Yes! Yes, but I can only pay $8,000.
Male Jeweler: Okay, I can let it go at eight.
Phoebe: We stand firm at $10.

Paul: Okay. Chandler, did your dad ever hug you?
Chandler: No, did he hug you?!
Paul: No! No! It’s just that, my dad never did. I miss my dad.
Chandler: Well, you can see my dad in Vegas kissing other dads

Monica: Well, uh y’know, our guy works with Chandler and he’s really nice and smart and he’s a great dresser!
Phoebe: Have you seen your guy’s body?
Chandler: No, our guy is just a floating head.

Ross: God that is the most beautiful engagement ring ever!
Rachel: Yeah? Well, you should know. You’ve bought like a billion of ‘em.
Ross; Yeah... you didn't get one

(Joey dressed as a captain for his new boat)
Joey: Where the hell have you been?!
Chandler: I was making a coconut phone with the professor.
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!
Chandler: What?!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah, I've been trying to find ya to tell to stop messing with her and maybe I would have if these (lifts a leg) damn boat shoes wouldn't keep flying off!
Chandler: My -- Oh my God!
Joey: I know! They suck!!
Chandler: He's not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! I'm supposed to do that!
Joey: I know!
Chandler: Well what... Y'know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go over there; I'm gonna kick his ass! (Pause) Will you help me?!
Joey: Look, Chandler I don't think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica!
Chandler: Okay
Joey: Dude-dude-dude!
Chandler: What?!
Joey: Let me know about that coconut phone, it might great for the boat.

Monica: Chandler... In all my life... I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to...fall in love with my best...my best... There's a reason why girls don't do this!
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought... (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. And if you'll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. Monica, will you marry me?