Quotes by Hollie

(new quotes are added at the bottom)

remember that some of this stuff was written when i was 14 or 15 yrs old.. to recently,
so go easy on the older ones. it goes with the growing up process..

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“I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi to me or even smile, because I know even if it’s for just a second-- I crossed your mind.” -Hollie Seals

“It's hard to try and give your heart to someone when the last person you gave it to is still breaking it and won't give it back.” -Hollie Seals

“It doesn't matter how many times your heart gets broken, what matters is eventually a guy will come along who will pick up all the pieces. So never stop trying.” -Hollie Seals

“Every guy I like breaks my heart and the only guy who really did like me now hates me because I broke his.” -Hollie Seals

“Everyone is always asking me what’s wrong, but I don’t even think it makes any sense, its just... my heart hurts.” -Hollie Seals

“It seems that until I find someone else who'll love me I cant move on from the only one who ever has.” –Hollie Seals

“After all this time you still have this amazing power to make me feel absolutely crazy each time I see you.” -Hollie Seals

“And I hate that every time the phone rings... I want so badly for it to be you.” -Hollie Seals

“I told myself no more. I had convinced myself I wasn't going to fall for another guy again, but there you were... you were outside my classes and the voice I heard when I picked up the phone. I was so scared to tell you how I felt, to admit to myself that this was something special I was feeling. But I told you, and you said you felt the same, so there's just one thing I want to know... how did this not end up happily ever after?” -Hollie Seals

“I’m just nervous about school, that’s all. Nervous about seeing him and having to walk away, and hearing his voice scream my name as I’m walking away, but even more, seeing him and her kissing as I turn the corner.” -Hollie S.

“I need you. I need that guy who can make me laugh just by the way he says hello when I pick up the phone, the guy who makes my hands shake when I'm sitting next to him, and the guy who isn't afraid to keep hugging me when I'm not ready to let go yet.” -Hollie Seals

“It's weird, yeah I miss you, but it's so much more then that. I miss the way my heart stopped at just the sight of you and that smile. The sad part about it is your smile isn't the only one that I'm missing. I miss my own, the one that's only there when yours is.” -Hollie Seals

“I know we don't talk anymore and there have even been times I've noticed we've walked right by each other without saying a word. There are those times, however, when we see each other... make eye contact... and I know, no matter how hard we both try and hide it... that you miss me just as much as I miss you.” -Hollie Seals

“Not everything is going to be picture perfect and things sometimes take time and have many rough things to get through before you can get there, but if you just stop and let it fade away than everything you’ve gone through ends up being worth nothing.” -Hollie Seals

“Just when I thought no one could make me forget him, I met you.” -Hollie Seals

”It’s this continuous cycle of me falling over and over again, but he always catches me just before I hit the ground… then takes me to the top, let's me go and I fall all over again. And you'd think, just once I’d say "You know, maybe I don’t feel like going back up there with you," but instead I do the opposite and practically let him blindfold me and take me himself, with no control of my own. I give him everything and for some reason expect to be okay afterwards.” -Hollie Seals

“I thought by meeting this new guy, talking to this guy on the phone all night, and looking forward to seeing his face everyday that it would make me stop wanting you. That wasn't the case at all, instead, whenever I talked to this guy, or when I looked at this guy... all I wanted in the whole world was for it to be you.” -Hollie Seals

“I can't breathe. It’s like this love I have is suddenly being overpowered by this pain I feel of him not loving me back.” -Hollie Seals

“I can’t stop crying. I don’t understand, and it’s not the loud, screaming crying. Its just the tears continuously roll down my face, and I can't do anything to stop them.” -Hollie Seals

“Maybe he's doing the same thing as me. Maybe he wants so bad to call me, but just won't because I haven't called him. Then again, maybe I shouldn't fill myself with false hope that he might just be missing me like I'm missing him.” -Hollie Seals

“Watching you walk away from me tonight, knowing that in that moment it was the last time any of the emotion we've felt for each other would ever be expressed, realizing that as much as you wait for someone, as much as you love someone not everything that feels right is meant to be. And seeing for the first time in my life, that sometimes... watching the person you love walk away from you is the best thing for you, even when its the most painful to watch them not turn around as they walk away.” -Hollie Seals

“I just can't help but realize how he's made me so weak that by the time he's ready to love me, I won’t have anything left in me to love him back.” -Hollie Seals

“He can’t keep saying he thinks about me all day long and then smile and say hi as he walks by me with her.” -Hollie Seals

“I am so ready to let go, just move on, and be happy. But there is always this little shred of... well maybe he'll want me tomorrow. You know?” -Hollie Seals

“And you'll never know how it feels to have the one person who means everything to you make you feel like nothing.” -Hollie Seals

“I am so scared. Scared that I won’t ever feel like this again, that I won’t ever find someone who can make me feel so complete yet at the same time be the one who's leaving me feeling lifeless.” -Hollie Seals

“Before I was so scared of losing him, of not being able to hear his voice, his laugher, feel his arms around me, but now I know that those are things I wouldn't ever be able to forget. Things I can't lose because they will forever be a part of me and who I am.” -Hollie Seals

“Where do you start in describing someone who is the whole reason your heart began beating... the reason for the smile on your face in the mornings, the reason the lyrics to certain songs have become something you can relate to instead of just something you sing along with.” -Hollie Seals

“I hate that you have this idea in your head how you feel about someone and that you get this need type feeling when they're not around. I don’t need him to wake up each morning or to go to sleep at night. Why then does it make the time in between so hard to live through?” -Hollie Seals

“When he looks at me I don't want to turn away. Usually, when any guy looks me in the eyes I have to look away after about 3 seconds, but with him I struggle to take my eyes off of him.” -Hollie Seals

“I’ve gone through this before and that’s why I don’t get why this is so hard for me to deal with. It’s the simple fact that he just doesn’t want me like I want him, I guess, maybe, it’s so hard because for a while there he made me feel like he did, maybe that’s the difference.” -Hollie Seals

”Well, the tears are starting to slow down now. The pain, however, remains constant.” -Hollie Seals

”I just, I love it when he's around. He knows me, he gets me and I know that with him I never have to be anyone but myself.” -Hollie Seals

”I know a lot of people know who he is, but I also know there are not that many who got to see the guy that I did and that guy, well, I'll never forget him . . . never. I've learned so much about life and emotion from knowing him and I wouldn't change a thing about it. Your heart needs to go through some bumps like these in order to make it through. Besides, no matter what he's done or not done he had the biggest impact on me these past four years. And, I know, no matter how many years go by . . . my stomach will always do a little flip when I see that face.” -Hollie Seals

”It’s the fact that I could have a ‘someone’ right now if I chose to, but it wouldn't matter. I still wouldn’t be happy, because even if I had someone, that someone wouldn't be him.” -Hollie Seals

“But there was this little hope, this tiny bit of it-- that maybe he'd say something, or give something a chance. But when he left, I realized I don’t want to hope for it anymore. I walked away wanting to be walking away from him, with no urge to turn back around.” -Hollie Seals

”It’s gone. He let me walk by, without even a glance in my direction. This guy, who loves me, who needs me so much is going to lose me. And I will eventually be okay.” -Hollie Seals

”Sometimes I miss him, not for any specific reason like most people when they miss someone, like they miss the person's smile or kiss or even just hearing their voice. But, that isn't what I miss. What I miss isn't something that anyone else would get to miss from loving him. What I miss is something rare, something he doesn't give to everyone… I miss his love.” -Hollie Seals

”As he was walking away from me, as he was sitting on the bleachers, as I see him walk in front of me in the hallway, I can’t ever see myself not wanting to be his. I would pick him over anyone… any day.” -Hollie Seals

”I missed him like crazy. I didn't realize it until afterwards, but I did. A part of me wasn't there. I thought that was for the best, but maybe it wasn't.” -Hollie Seals

“But oh, the high I felt from just talking to him again. That feeling gets inside you; it reminds you why you wake up every morning. It’s something that you can't remember how it feels when it isn't there, but once it is you never want it to go away.” -Hollie Seals

“Not that he would ever ask me to stay; it’s just nice to think that he would love me enough to want me to.” -Hollie Seals

”I just want to kiss him and tell him that through all this I ended up doing the one thing I told myself not to. I fell. And now, I've crashed.” -Hollie Seals

“I want him so much it scares me. I lose myself in him, and I don't know what I'll do if he stops wanting me to.” -Hollie Seals

”I don’t want him to call me. I don’t want to talk to him, to have to hear his voice and try and figure out a way for him to not tell by my voice how much I miss him.” -Hollie Seals

“If having him in my life seems to be essential to my happiness, then regardless of the moments when I am away from him and thinking about how things didn’t work out, I want, well, need for us to be okay. It’s so hard to explain. I guess you'd have to be me or my heart to get it.” -Hollie Seals

“You consume me. You are the reason for my smile and the reason why I am so happy. The reason why I keep going and the reason why I now know what it is to be in love.” -Hollie Seals

“Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel always. Be you, and be okay with it.” -Hollie Seals

“I know that after I left he sort of put me on this back shelf in his mind, this like second row of his heart, but for me he'll never be anything but first.” -Hollie Seals

”I hope the part of you that is missing while I am gone affects you more than you can handle. I hope it’s the part that would usually start your day off well, so that now you'll get up each morning wondering why you feel miserable. I hope it’s the part that wants to kiss other girls, and now you find you are unable to let your lips touch anyone but my own. And finally, I hope it’s the part that allows you to sleep well and instead you will toss and turn regretting the day you said I was part of you or rather, the day you forgot to tell me you no longer wanted it.” -Hollie Seals

”He is the only one who makes me feel alive; makes me feel, well-- like this. He has literally this past week or so, got me from one day to the next. It will be Tuesday and I’ll think ‘well, I’ll see him on Friday’ and before I know it I can't even remember there was a Wednesday or Thursday.” -Hollie Seals

”Before, my fear was being vulnerable. The ability of another human being to possibly tear apart your insides at any moment was enough to keep me running. He, however, made my insides come alive, my smile become permanent, laughter more frequent-- he took away my fear and gave me hope. But, more importantly for the first time in my life, instead of wanting to run, he gave me every reason to stay.” -Hollie Seals

”People say that you never get over your first love and I hope that I don't ever have to, because that would mean that I was no longer with him... and that is something I can't imagine. I want my first love to be my only love.” -Hollie Seals

”I’m so happy yet, so scared. And every morning it starts all over again, I open my eyes and hope that we make it through the day, because without him I would have no place.” -Hollie Seals

”I’ve never felt anything like it-- passion, pain… all of it. And even though it feels like it's killing you, at the same time it reminds you that you're still alive.” -Hollie Seals

"Hope is always there. When things aren't going well, you feel something inside saying that things will soon get better; a hope for good things to come. Hope is there when you first have a crush on someone, it's the electricty type feeling you get when you see that person; when you're smiling because of them. It's the feeling that, well, maybe this person is going to be that person... maybe this is going to be something amazing. It's the hope that something more will come from something simple." -Hollie Seals

"and maybe they're right, you know, maybe i expect too much --- maybe somewhere in the back of my head i want that stupid fairytale that everyone tells me isn't possible.. but i dont care. i dont care if i'm 'expecting to much.' because, i've seen glimpses, well -- more than glimpses, in other moments in the past.. with other guys ... so i know that what i am looking for is out there somewhere." -Hollie Seals

"Most people live their life moment to moment. They think about the present and what is happening now. Others look to the future and think of all that could be, and all that someday will be. And the rest of us, well, we are too blinded by the past to see anything else clearly." -Hollie Seals

"I felt the goodbye when we hugged. The strength in his arms as if that was the last bit of him he had to give me. I realized as I was walking away that in holding on as tight as he did -- was really just him letting go" -Hollie Seals

"It's funny, in jr. high and then high school.. you cant wait to escape the drama. The irrational decisions and heartbreak. but you know what? Even after you leave-- that stuff still exists, it's just a more grown-up version is all.  The emotions don't change... our vocabulary just gets bigger. We now have more sophisticated words to use when letting someone down" -Hollie Seals

"I used to think that finding someone you clicked with, someone who made your stomach feel sick, your hands to start to shake and your whole body feel off balance... was always going to mean it was something special. But these are things that just happen-- they're not a result of something he's doing for you. He isn't making these things happen, they just are. What I've come to realize is.. once the butterflies fly away.. and the sickness subsides, what matters is how he makes you feel on purpose --the feelings he can cause in you that are every bit of his control. His calling to say 'hi', quoting a movie line to make you laugh or learning to accept that you like the one team in baseball he can't stand. These are the feelings that do not just fade away in time, because he won't let them-- if its really something, he'll be able to make you feel those things no matter the circumstance." -Hollie Seals

"So where is the line between worrying about someone elses feelings and watching out for ourselves? It's okay to tell a white lie if it makes someone feel better... or be there for someone when you really would rather be somewhere else. But when does it start being your fault for not feeling the way someone else wants you to feel? There has to be a line. A time to back off. A time when it is okay to be blantantly honest because that is what is best for YOU." -Hollie Seals

"Just friends... it's almost impossible. Especially if it was once something more than that. Going back to friends is just a way of trying to twist and mold it into something else, something that keeps you both holding on by strings, when all you really need to do is let go... be free of one another. On the other hand, to let go - to accept that you aren't what the other person wants can crush you. But once you let go, once you really say goodbye... it's eventually better for you. There is no obligation, no worry, and no need to still make that other person happy." -Hollie Seals

"Letting go: you want to rid yourself of that person, you want their face to stop appearing everytime you hear that certain song, and you want to not call them at 3am when your heart hurts. But if you let them go, if you cut them out of your life... then thats it -they're gone. You will never get a do-over and never get a chance to make things right. You will go from being the reason they once smiled, being that person they could always count on... to the person they hope to never have to see again, because the awkwardness would be too much to bear." -Hollie Seals

"The battle of head versus heart is excruciating. Which is the right one to follow? My head which is trying to protect my heart? Or my heart, my heart that is falling hopelessly... leading me into a dead end... walking me head first into a brick wall? I wish I could say my vision is blurry-- that I'm blinded, but I can see so clearly it scares me. I see the part of me that just can't walk the other way, that can't tear my eyes off of him or keep myself from trembling when he looks directly at me-- when he makes me feel like I'm the only person in a room." -Hollie Seals

"It sounds stupid, but its easier being with someone who doesn't have the full ability to be with me the same way… only half-way giving my heart knowing I'm not responsible for anything, since he isn't free to give me his… Never being fully involved, therefore never being fully able of being let down. This way—I hurt myself, I bring myself into a situation that has no good ending and am able to say "when" at the time I know I need to." -Hollie Seals

"Sometimes I feel like the heart and mind play tricks on each other. That just when you have got yourself convinced with one that something is what you want, the other steps in and makes you feel nothing but doubt." -Hollie Seals

"I sometimes find it hard to believe how fast it all can happen... How a person can come into your world and just flip it around (in a good way). It's kind of a miracle that there are people out there who by just being a part of your life.... make it better." -Hollie Seals

 

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