Being lonely ... being alone ... for many people ... sucks.  I get it, I get it, I get it.  But still I have to say that yes, my belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel crappy or doesn't honor the person you are is worse.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

Don't give him the chance to reject you again.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

He doesn't need to be reminded that you're great.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that  you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

The reason it's so painful when someone disappears is you have to face the fact that the person you loved had probably left you a long time before he grabbed his coat and scrammed.  The part part is realizing that he was lying to you, in some way, before the moment of vanishing.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

Breakup sex still means you're broken up.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

Cut him off.  Let him miss you.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

Don't confuse being classy with being a doormat.  Classy is walking away with your head held high, graciously, and with all dignity.  Being a doormat is offering to drive him to the dentist for his root canal.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

Breakups, I've heard, are supposed to be just that.  Breaks.  Hard, clean breaks.  No talking, no seeing, no touching ... keep your hands to yourself.  The relationship is over.  Half the people I know move after a huge breakup, and frankly that makes perfect sense to me.  You're not supposed to sleep with the guy who just broke your heart a week ago.  Fine.  Next time I'm in this situation I'll cry.  Stay in bed and wail.  Go to the gym if I can.  Call all my friends and burden them with my misery.  Sleep too much.  Cry some more.  See my therapist more often.  Get a puppy.  Do whatever I have to so eventually I can move on.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

He's sniffing for something better, and when he doesn't find it, he gets lonely and comes "home."  It's not that he's so into you.  It's that he's so not into being alone.  Don't give him the chance to break up with you for the fourth time.  (Even the idea of it sounds beneath you, doesn't it?)  Reset your breakup maximum to one and move on.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision.  Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

Don't underestimate the power of sex, even with someone you've been doing it with for a very long time.  Especially with someone you've been doing it with for a very long time.  Breaking up means not seeing them again, which also implies not seeing them naked again.  It might be tempting to forget this pearl of wisdom, but just remember, it's still called breakup sex.  No one has yet to rename it oh-my-god-the-sex-was-so-good-we-got-back-together-again-and-lived-happily-ever-after sex.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

Hey girl.  Put down the penis, put your clothes back on, and go directly to your best friend's house.  Do not find an excuse to stay.  Do not think that because of all the crazy hotness of it all, it now means that you're meant to be together.  Yes, break up sex does seem like a good idea, because hey, it's nice to have sex with someone you have these dramatic feelings about.  It makes it all, well, dramatic.  But now you know.  It confuses everything and makes you separate sex and emotions.  So now you don't ever have to make that mistake again.  Got it?  He's into the very-bad-idea-that-masquerades-as-a-good-idea, breakup sex.  Over and out.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less -- even a vague pathetic facsimile of less -- than you would have ever imagined.  Remember always what you set out to get and please don't settle for less.  These guys exist because there are a lot of women out there who allow them to.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

This guy is brilliant. He goes out with you, dates you, breaks up with you, then continues to sleep with you, which basically absolves him of all responsibility toward your feelings.  After all, you're not going out anymore.  It's genius!  It's diabolical!  He should be writing a book!  In fact, I bet this guy could get his own little cult going if he wanted to.  And let me guess, you'd be happy to sign up for that as well.  For the record, this guy doesn't "like you so much that he can't stop being around you."  Because here's what guys don't do if they can't live without you: they don't break up with you.  This guy is seriously not into you, it's crazy.  The only way you're going to figure out how into you you are ... is how fast you get rid of him.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

I was seeing a guy for about a month.  He broke up with me, saying that he didn't feel like it could be something serious.  I understood and took it well.  He wanted to know if we could still hang out as friends.  I said sure.  Now we get together and go out and then come back to his place and have sex, just like we did before.  (But now, we're "broken up.")  He's really, really cute and I love having sex with him.  I also think he must like me if he can't stop being around me.  And I think it's kinda cool -- all pressure's off and we're having a great time together.  I've decided that I think it's fine and I'm not going to call his attention for the fact that we're actually dating.  Except for the fact that we broke up.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

Don't be flattered that he misses you.  He  should miss you.  You're deeply missable.  However, he's still the same person who just broke up with you.  Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he's choosing, every day, not to be with you.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves.  If he's not calling you to tell you he loves you and wants you back, it should only be because he's showing up at your new residence to do it in person ... if he's not doing any of that, he may love you, he may miss you, but ultimately he's just not that into you.  Stop taking his calls and let him know what it's like to live without you.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

My friends all say I should stop talking to him, but I think he misses me, and I like that.  I miss him.  I feel if I stay in touch with him, it will remind him of how great I am, and eventually he will realize that we should be together again.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

Everyone wants to be loved and needed, particularly by the person who just broke up with us.  I understand.  What could be better than hearing from the man who just told you he didn't want you in his life anymore ... his sad, wistful, "I miss you so much" voice on the other end of the phone?  It's validating.  It's exciting.  It's irresistible.  But resist you must.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

You can't blame a guy for having feelings.  You love someone, you break up, you still have feeling.  Thank God for that really.  But having feelings don't mean you have to have sex.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

Every man you have ever dated who has said he doesn't want to get married or doesn't believe in marriage, or has "issues" with marriage, will ... rest assured ... someday be married.  It just will never be with you.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

I don't want to be "sort of dating" someone.  I don't want to be "kinda hanging out" with someone.  I don't want to spend a lot of energy suppressing my feelings so I appear uninvolved.  I want to be involved.  I want to be sleeping with someone I know I'll see again because they've already demonstrated to me that they're trustworthy and honorable -- and into me.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not

Beware of the word "friend".  It can often be used by men or the women that love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior.  Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.

- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, He's Just Not
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